Queen of Confusion

Do I want to run today? No, not really. 

But I have to run more to get faster. I know. 

Oh! I really want to run this 50k. But you only ran one marathon.

That's okay. I'll train really hard for this one. Really? 

Well....semi-hard. Maybe you should run more marathons first.

But I'm slow. So run more. 

But I don't want to run today.  

This is basically the conversation that I have with myself about running. 

I love running. I really do.

I love the feeling I get when I push myself harder. 

I love the feeling of finishing a long run and having trouble walking because of it.

I love how happy I get after every run. 

I love all. of. it. 

But sometimes, I'll be honest, I'm really lazy. 

Not motivated. 

Not at all interested in running or working out. 

And then sometimes, running and exercise is all I want to do.

I want to run a 50k all of a sudden. 

I want to do a million push-ups and sit-ups. 

I want to do Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown non-stop. 

I am:

I've been this way my whole life. 

Never really knowing what I want.
Wanting to do everything. 

Being good at a lot of things, but never really excelling at just one thing.

Now I found something that I want.
I want to run, be fit and push myself farther than I have ever pushed myself. 

This confusion, lazy thing....needs to stop. 

I'm sick of going back and forth. 

How do some of you do it? I'm jealous of your persistence. 

You all amaze me and I wish I had your energy. 

Any advice? 

I need to get out of this rut. 

Operation More Energy

I'm on a mission to combat this tiredness that my body seems to have become accustomed to.

I will call the Sleep Lab at the University of Arizona today to schedule an appointment. If the cause is something sleep related (like sleep apnea) then there's not too much I can do about it on my own.

However, I'm going to try a few things as well...just to make sure:

1. No more snoozing. I used to hit the snooze button multiple times every morning. Chance told me it could be creating a sleep apnea type effect.I must wake up the first time and stay up. 
2. Cut out soda for two weeks. And coffee. Not a big coffee drinker (I like my tea!) but I drink soda like no other. I'm addicted to the carbonation fizz....mmm. The caffeine could be dehydrating me . 
3. Drink more water. I've been informed that I need to be drinking a minimum of 75 oz. a day when I'm training. I have a marked water bottle and I'm trying to down 3-4 of them everyday. 
4. Exercise even on rest days. I'm not talking about running on rest days but instead doing yoga or weights on those days instead. I need to constantly stay active. 
5. and lastly, Start running in the morning. I have a tendency to run at night (I'm used to the heat). However, it is getting colder and my energy seems to increase before I go to bed. If I run in the mornings, I can get that energy during the day when I need it most. 

This is the plan for now. Crossing my fingers that it will help. I really don't want to deal with a sleep problem. 

In other news, I discovered Team Sparkle a little while ago and now I want some sparkly skirts! 

Only 5 more days until my first triathlon! 

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth…not going all the way, and not starting.
Buddha 

The Truth

One. week. left.

It's starting to hit me. A few weeks ago, I was insanely excited about the idea of completing a triathlon.

But now...to tell you the truth...I'm freaking out. And not just about my triathlon.

For the past few weeks, I've been feeling a little different.

I'm just plain old tired.

There's no other way to describe it. I'm really really freaking tired. Like all. of. the. time.

I went to my doctor and she told me it could be the aftereffects of starting a new job. While I'm having a great time at my job, teaching middle school can be stressful and that could be the cause of my sudden sleepiness.

I just want to sleep all day. Everyday.

I feel lazy. And stupid. And fat.

Seriously. I can't stand this! And the worst part is that it's making me re-think running altogether! Like, can I really train properly if I need to sleep so much? Should I really be doing this?

I have already signed up for the RNRAZ marathon in January and I know I don't want to back out.

I want to run it. But sleeping instead of running is not helping! I even missed another trail run with my running group because I couldn't wake up!

I'm going to go to the hospital to do a sleep study. Maybe I'm not sleeping at night? Sleepwalking, snoring, sleep apnea?? Not sure, but I need to find out what is causing this sudden tiredness!!!

Please send good thoughts my way. I'm going to need them.