Motivate Me! (please) Monday

 

Today, this motivation is deticated to other things in my life:

 

I've been thinking about my blog lately.
I'm not super impressed by it. It's just not what I want it to be...yet.

I've had this vision of a blog that I update at least twice a week, discuss hot topics and offer great advice. I was trying to do that for running, but my motivation has been low for it.

 It's really hard to write about something twice a week when you don't want to think about it everyday.

 

I love running but I'm not sure if I want to think about it all of the time.

I'd rather have fun with it and enjoy it.

Right now, I'm not enjoying it like I should.

I feel as if it's a chore that I have to keep doing every week.

And I know this happens to everyone.
Some fellow blogger friends have told me they stopped writing on their blogs (one of them had over 2,000 readers!) because it felt like it was becoming a chore rather than a hobby.

 

I have been considering creating another blog, solely for camp. If you don't know, I have been obsessed about being a camp professional for years. Ever since I went to summer camp about 17 years ago, I have wanted to become a camp counselor. Since becoming a camp counselor in 2005, that's all I have ever wanted to do. I even feared of getting a real job after college because I wouldn't be able to work at camp during the summers (thank goodness for the teaching profession!!).

After a few years working as a counselor, I wanted bigger and better things: aka the camp director position. So, I'm on a quest to become one!

 

If you have never been to camp or you hated it, what I'm saying would bore you to pieces.
Being a director is almost a full time job. It requires long hours of brainstorming, planning, paperwork, hiring, more paperwork, and keeping everything together.
I  have been working with two of the most amazing directors for the past seven years. They have inspired me to stay in the camp world, even if they didn't know that's what they were doing.

 

Camp has truely changed my life.

I always feel as if I have another family that I can return to every summer.

Everyone cares about each other (except for a few bad seeds that come in every few years) and it can be a real hippie-dippie kind of place.
We sing songs around the campfire, we give hugs at least 10 times a day (it's good for mental growth), and we stay up late in the bungalow, talking until midnight and listening to the owls in the trees (super hippie-dippie...am I right?).

But I love

every

single

second

of

it.

 

I wasn't sure about having two blogs. I know that if I go completely over to the camp topic, I will lose a lot of running readers (why would you want to read about camp??) and in turn a lot of friends (maybe not?).  

 

So, I'm considering merging the two into one new blog.

Running, hiking, backpacking, and of course, camp.

Basically, it would be a journal for my outdoor adventures and my journey to becoming a camp professional. I hope that it will be mostly outdoor focused but I want it to be helpful for others interested in camp as well.

 

Camp is something that I think about on a daily basis.
Running is something that I might think about every few days.

Why not talk about what I really want to talk about?

 

I would still participate in races, I would keep running with my trail running group and generally keep writing about staying fit and healthy. But, it wouldn't be the main focus. I could write about everything else too! With camp mixed in of course.

 

I won't end my journey on HEATRUNNER just yet.

I will need some time to create another blog.

A weekend won't do it for me.

It may happen during Rodeo Break or Spring Break.

And I still need time to think about it. :)

Queen of Confusion

Do I want to run today? No, not really. 

But I have to run more to get faster. I know. 

Oh! I really want to run this 50k. But you only ran one marathon.

That's okay. I'll train really hard for this one. Really? 

Well....semi-hard. Maybe you should run more marathons first.

But I'm slow. So run more. 

But I don't want to run today.  

This is basically the conversation that I have with myself about running. 

I love running. I really do.

I love the feeling I get when I push myself harder. 

I love the feeling of finishing a long run and having trouble walking because of it.

I love how happy I get after every run. 

I love all. of. it. 

But sometimes, I'll be honest, I'm really lazy. 

Not motivated. 

Not at all interested in running or working out. 

And then sometimes, running and exercise is all I want to do.

I want to run a 50k all of a sudden. 

I want to do a million push-ups and sit-ups. 

I want to do Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown non-stop. 

I am:

I've been this way my whole life. 

Never really knowing what I want.
Wanting to do everything. 

Being good at a lot of things, but never really excelling at just one thing.

Now I found something that I want.
I want to run, be fit and push myself farther than I have ever pushed myself. 

This confusion, lazy thing....needs to stop. 

I'm sick of going back and forth. 

How do some of you do it? I'm jealous of your persistence. 

You all amaze me and I wish I had your energy. 

Any advice? 

I need to get out of this rut.