Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Queen of Confusion

Do I want to run today? No, not really. 
But I have to run more to get faster. I know. 
Oh! I really want to run this 50k. But you only ran one marathon.
That's okay. I'll train really hard for this one. Really? 
Well....semi-hard. Maybe you should run more marathons first.
But I'm slow. So run more. 
But I don't want to run today.  

This is basically the conversation that I have with myself about running. 
I love running. I really do.

I love the feeling I get when I push myself harder. 
I love the feeling of finishing a long run and having trouble walking because of it.

I love how happy I get after every run. 

I love all. of. it. 

But sometimes, I'll be honest, I'm really lazy. 
Not motivated. 
Not at all interested in running or working out. 

And then sometimes, running and exercise is all I want to do.
I want to run a 50k all of a sudden. 
I want to do a million push-ups and sit-ups. 
I want to do Jillian Michaels Yoga Meltdown non-stop. 

I am:

I've been this way my whole life. 
Never really knowing what I want.
Wanting to do everything. 
Being good at a lot of things, but never really excelling at just one thing.

Now I found something that I want.
I want to run, be fit and push myself farther than I have ever pushed myself. 

This confusion, lazy thing....needs to stop. 
I'm sick of going back and forth. 
How do some of you do it? I'm jealous of your persistence. 
You all amaze me and I wish I had your energy. 
Any advice? 
I need to get out of this rut. 


  1. Yeah, I know the feeling. Fortunately, the more I push myself out the door, the easier it gets over time. Just remind yourself of how awesome you feel after you do it, and how mad at yourself you get when you don't.

  2. Great post, I feel that too, I want to get faster on the bike, but running is consuming my time. I do like the planning aspect, of setting goals weekly/monthly/yearly, but not too ambitious, it seems like it is much easier to achieve these goals than in other areas of life. But you just did a marathon so I'd suggest focusing on some other things for a while, running just for fun, when you refocus you should have more energy for it!

  3. OMG, this could be soo me! I have the exact same conversations and I admire people who HAVE TO run each and every day. I'm totally fine with taking a rest day or two :) It helps me to sign up for something I'm scared of and then the training follows along. It also helps me to meet up with people to run, then I can't bail out. Good luck!!


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